SafeHaven Scene
Imagine
by Eric Thomas on 07/19/12
I was riding the train Thursday and listening to the Earth Wind and Fire (a.k.a. Elements of the Universe) song Imagination when the lyric “so I imagine my heart with you, See what imagination can do” brought vividly to mind an elementary school classmate named Benjamin. Well, Benjamin isn’t his real name but since I can’t remember his real name I’m going to call him Benjamin. At any given moment during the day you could catch Benjamin fixated on an object in the classroom or outside the window. Classmates would often notice Benjamin’s fixation and try to figure out the source. I too would try to determine the source of his fixation but at a distance and in silence. I soon figured that the various objects that Benjamin was fixated upon weren’t visible to him at all. You see, Benjamin wasn’t staring at the tree or the desk or the pigeons eating the remnants of the morning snack. You could have yelled fire and Benjamin wouldn’t have moved because he wasn’t in the same room with us or on the same planet. Benjamin had picked up, traveled inside his mind and was exercising the most powerful force in the universe. Benjamin was connecting with that creative juggernaut called Imagination. The power of Imagination is proven every time any of your five senses is engaged. Everything in existence is here due to imagination. Imagining is nothing more that making an image of something that does not yet exist. Once the image is made you only need to take action to manifest that image. Imagination is unlimited. Imagination cannot be turned off. Imagination is available from birth to death.
I often think about Benjamin and some of the incredible things he may have accomplished or the beautiful, inexplicable places he may have seen. I so hope that he has done incredible things and seen beautifully, inexplicable places. I hope Society didn’t find him during his transition from childhood to adulthood and put upon him its design for living life or reach into him and throttle down his imagination to an idle as has happened to millions, maybe even you. Perhaps you were like Benjamin with an imagination that traveled at the speed of light empowering you to do impossible things in places that didn’t exist. Did Society find you and tell you that you were too old to exercise your power of imagination? Did Society tell you that imagination is for children? Did Society tell you that you have a family now, a mortgage, a job, bills to pay and you need to grow up? Well, the next time Society shows up to tell you what you should be doing tell Society to shut up and get out of your face.
I implore you to use your imagination everyday just as Benjamin did. Not only do I want you to do it but I want you to insert into your children the passion to imagine. As a start, set aside a daily quiet time for them to be one with their imagination and assign them to imagine what their dream house would look like, what problem they would solve for the world, what device would they create, what mountain would be climbed or what galaxy would they visit. Don’t you stifle their imaginings or insert your opinion. Just let their thoughts travel unbridled at the speed of light. They can draw their thoughts or write them down or just let them flow through their minds like a mountain stream. Let the child dictate how to express, you just need to set aside the time and create that quiet, non-distracting environment where the imagination can awaken.
I wish I could find Benjamin and see if he stayed true to himself or succumbed to the whims of Society. I may never know but I gain some solace in knowing that your child is another Benjamin just brimming with creative energy. All you need to do is create the environment, provide encouragement and watch the path to Greatness form under the feet of your child.
Change Your Story. Change Your Life.
by Eric Thomas on 06/21/12
I took a day off from work and drove to Alabama with my friend James and his wife. The bright sun had given the clouds the day off as well but asked a soft breeze to occasionally visit at what always seemed to be the right time. The bright sun and soft breeze traveled with us all the way to the Civil Rights Institute in Birmingham (it is definitely worth a visit).
Just outside of Leeds, Alabama on the way back, a pretty interesting discussion arose that shoved the silence which had become a passenger, into the trunk. Generally speaking, the male gender doesn't own that many shares of stock in the area of displaying affection and James' wife was giving her personal testimony to this point. James responded by talking about his childhood which was void of love, support, encouragement and parental displays of affection. I listened intently but after a few moments I found myself focusing on my own thoughts as his voice became a subconscious presence, similar to elevator music. I didn't intentionally disengage but it was as though my mind said "I heard this before" and turned its energy to thoughts that needed more development.
I realized that James was telling a story, like a computer program had been inserted into his memory and each time the "affection" topic surfaced he would give you this program, His Story. As I thought more deeply about it I put my finger on several people that have a Story. In fact, everyone has a Story.
My very good friend Ann was in a marriage that kept her comfortable but this comfort prevented her from having a full awareness of her surroundings and it discouraged her personal growth. Whenever she is challenged to perform a task that she never had to perform in her prior marriage she starts telling her Story of how "William did all that, I never had to do any of that". Not changing this Story prevents her from engaging in the experiences that are needed for her to grow as an individual.
I am not being dismissive or insensitive but your Story is just that, a story. It should not define your behavior and opinion. It was a time in your life that has passed but you hold onto that story and use it as an excuse or crutch to lean on when you're confronted about the areas in your life that need a positive change.
There are people living Stories that took place 15, 20, 30 or 50 years ago. James and Ann are becoming more aware of how their Stories are impacting their lives negatively. James is changing his Story. He now responds to his "affection" issue by stating "that was how my parents were but that's not who I am".
Think about an area of your life that needs improvement but each time that area is mentioned you whip out Your Story. You visit the doctor and he mentions your weight and you immediately whip out your Story about how everyone in your family is "big boned" and your mother fixed a lot of food and you always had to clean your plate. Well your mother fixed a lot of food because you had 6 siblings and you had to clean your plate because your mother knew the next meal wasn't guaranteed and your family members are "big boned" because they eat too much and don't exercise.
The next time the word 'overweight' is directed to you, don't whip out your old story, present a new story. Don"t talk about how your mother cooked too much food and how everyone in your family is "big boned", say that you know you're overweight and you've changed your dietary habits. Talk about the new exercise you perform daily as part of your story.
We all have a Story but that Story can be changed the instant we decide we want it to change. When you Change Your Story you will Change Your Life.
Father and Daughter
by Eric Thomas on 06/12/12
My wife and I were at dinner one evening and I noticed a man walk in with who I presumed to be his son and daughter. They sat down in the booth across from us and immediately he and his son began to discuss the basketball game being shown on the tv. I didn't think anything about the family or the discussion taking place until, after some minutes, I looked over and noticed the father and son still engulfed in the game. This went on for the entire time we were at the restaurant and a feeling that I could not assign words began to envelope me.
The daughter sat quietly eating her dinner as though she were alone. That's it! The daughter sitting as though she were alone was troubling me. Not once did I see the father engage her in a conversation or attempt to socialize with her. Now I know this was only a snapshot of their life and a number of variables could be responsible for the lack of interaction between the three of them but it brought to mind a cycle that I feel needs to be shattered.
For decades, maybe centuries, a model of divisiveness has been in practice where fathers predominantly spent time with the son and the mother predominantly spent time with the daughter. A balance was never established and to this day the cycle of divisiveness continues, though not as prevalent as before. As a father of a son and daughter I made sure that I spent as much time with my daughter as I did my son and in some cases more time was shared with my daughter.
I think as fathers we sometimes fall into the societal routine and spend more time with the son because there is typically more in common with the son. I have actually heard some fathers say "I'm not going to see no girls dancing" or "I'm not gonna be the only man at her practice" but they're sitting in the stands on Saturday at the football game cheering on the son.
Be the "only man" at her practices and games. Find out what her passions are and become involved and supportive of them even if you are the "only man" there. What you are establishing in her mind is that a man can stand alone amidst the whispers and discomfort in a supportive display of that which he loves while a boy becomes obedient to those whispers and discomfort.
This will break that cycle of divisiveness and set a standard so that when it is time for her to select a mate she has a standard that you established that every man stepping to her must meet, and the more difficult the standard the happier you will be with your son-in-law.
