SafeHaven Scene

For a parent, hearing their child make that statement is a heart stopper. You first ask, "what did you say" to make sure you heard what you thought you heard before you go off the deep end. In a flash you feel let down, frustrated and unappreciated. You then turn defiant and emphatic, "Oh you going to college. You don't have a choice". You have a right to feel all those feelings and a few more to go with them but for a moment let's set aside the emotion and pride and think about this from a practical and logical point of view. I believe a college education is important but I don't believe it's required to be successful the way mainstream society would have you believe. The enormous presence of technology in our lives, along with the ability of the internet to place an idea or product in front of millions in an instant, has forever done away with the tradition of "going to college so you can get a good job". Nowadays, it's more likely that you'll create your own job before you find a job.

Because of the ever rising cost of college, the massive debt incurred to pay for college along with it's seriously diminished value as illustrated by so many graduates that can't find work, I think an alternative to college should be seriously considered. Here's a few alternatives.

Technical School - Technical school is typically cheaper than college because the focus of the education is on teaching a specific skill and not making you "well rounded". Technical school gives "hands on" training or actual experience which is more appealing to an employer than classroom theory. Think about how many times you've heard someone say "I didn't get the position because I didn't have any experience?"

Start a Business - You can start most home based businesses for less than $3,000. The average public college education cost $40,000. Using the college fund as seed money you can start 10-15 businesses that can generate funds immediately. If your child devotes 35-45 hours a week towards the business(es) (time that would have been used as classroom/study time) along with the college fund as seed money a successful outcome is almost unavoidable. 

Programmer - Most kids play video games or spend significant time on the internet. They use or consume the technology to have fun but never know how these things work or produce anything with the technology. Producers thrive, consumers survive. Java, HTML, C++, Python, ASP and many more of these unusual names are languages. No, these aren't languages as in spoken languages but programming languages. These languages are just a few that are used to make all your communication devices, computers and the internet function and do the things that you want them to do. The instructions that make your communication devices, computers and the internet work are written in these languages. Becoming a programmer doesn't require a college education (many exceptional programmers are self taught), no special equipment or textbooks and nearly 100% of what your child would need to get started is on the internet free of charge thanks to the programming community. Sites like tutorialize.com or Youtube provide "how to" instruction. A programmer with minimal experience can earn $50,000 a year and the price goes up with experience. If your child doesn't want a job they can be their own boss and become a consultant or contractor. Small and intermediate businesses are always in need of some type of programmer. And if being a contractor isn't to their liking, your child can write applications for Android devices or iPads and iPhones. Creating one popular application can make them a millionaire overnight.

These are very viable and successful alternatives to college. Instead of forcing a square peg (your child) into a round hole (college), step back and realize that times have changed and a college education is slowly becoming a non-viable path for many. Put aside your ego, the emotion and what society is telling you to do and ask yourself "is college the best path to get my child where he/she wants to go?" You may be surprised at the answer.

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One of the duties as a parent is to put your child on a path that will lead them to a career that will provide them with a good income but more importantly, allow them to live their passion. Many parents sabotage the fulfillment of this vision by involving the child in activities that don’t match their personalities or strengths.

Here’s an example, my son has a boy on his soccer team that has two left feet and is very slow. No, I’m not being harsh I'm only trying to illustrate a point. Perhaps the athletic gene skipped him but he's more academic or maybe he's a combination of the two. Instead of dragging him to soccer practice 2 nights a week for 4 hours then spending the majority of 11 weekends traveling to soccer fields on the other side of yonder, why don’t the parents recognize he is not designed to play soccer, which requires speed, quickness and agility. Why not put him in swimming, baseball, golf or the debate club? Look at all the hours being devoted to practicing and playing a sport in which he will never enjoy a meaningful level of success. The results of this will be a loss of confidence in himself, no sense of accomplishment, a waste of time and money.

A better strategy would be to take an inventory of him. I did this with my son. I made a list of his strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Of course I removed some things from the list as he got older (climbing trees) and added some (gentle personality that is magnetic), but the inventory list became my road map into knowing who he is as a person and it allowed my finite resources of time and money to be spent on activities in which he could find accomplishment and confidence. It was my inventory list that reminded me my son couldn’t dribble a ball, catch or hit a baseball and he certainly didn't have the mindset to put on a helmet and pads and run full speed into another kid. Hence, we never spent one dime or one second trying baseball, football or basketball. He has an aptitude for soccer so that’s where our time and money is focused and the payoff looks like it will be a college offering him a scholarship to play soccer.

It’s not too late to start taking inventory. If your child is nearing the teen years or in their teens, sit down and think about what activities they enjoy, dislike, are they curious, talkative, athletic or anything else you can think of.

I’m not telling you this is an exact science that will guarantee success and good times but I do know it’s a small investment of time and attentiveness and it will place your child on a path that will allow your child to accentuate their strengths, acknowledge their weaknesses, know their passion, and make a good income. As a mother, father or parent, to do this for your child will illustrate an unbound love and fill your breast with pride.

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